To the Moon, Alice
by Amy Soscia
Content Warning: Domestic Violence
Alice’s hand shook as she dialed the travel agent’s number. While she had spent years thinking about it, it took only minutes to book a one-way ticket to the moon and a reservation at The Starlight Inn, an all-inclusive resort for people wanting to get away. All she had left to do was to pack her bag.
She and Ralph still lived in the tiny two-room apartment they’d rented when they first got married. In the early days, they used to joke about how they could hold hands regardless of where they were standing. He was a big man and his presence was everywhere. But they had never moved, and those same two rooms seemed to shrink a bit more with each passing year.
She wasn’t sure when it had started, but she remembered the chill in the tone he used when he complained she was smothering him. She was smothering him? The irony of it almost made her laugh. Almost.
After that, whenever he talked about needing his space, he'd put on his hat and head to Kelsey’s, the bar down the street. It would be late when he came home hyped up on whiskey, charged into their bedroom, and ranted about how he’d buy her a palace once the latest of his string of failed business ventures took off. The next day, he’d wake up with a mouth full of regret.
The first time his fist forced the air from her lungs and made her double over in pain, he seemed surprised.
“It’ll never happen again. I promise,” he said.
She was sure he meant what he said, but the rhythm of their tides had changed, and everything now felt off-kilter.
It happened again when he drank too much, when Lucky Lucy didn’t win at the track, when his dinner wasn’t piping hot, or whenever he thought Alice wasn’t appreciative enough.
Each time she’d mourn the loss of the man she had fallen in love with. She tried everything she could to please him, but at times, even her breathing seemed to annoy him.
Ralph took care to hide the stains of his rage and warned her that if she told anyone or tried to leave, she’d be sorry. She carried his threats with her wherever she went. His words overshadowed the time a coworker tried to extend her friendship, and then again when one of her neighbors stopped her on the street to engage in polite conversation.
One morning, the way he glared at her, his eyes moving over her with a fury she'd never seen before, made her realize there was no love left in them. It was as if he was plotting to rip the soul right out of her. If she didn’t do something soon, she’d become one of those women she’d read about, beautiful women who seemed happy until you looked into their vacant eyes, women whose husbands would rather kill them than let them go.
Alice gathered her travel documents, packed her bag, and scribbled a parting note. Her hands shook as she removed her wedding ring. It clattered as it hit the floor before rolling under the radiator. She bent down and swept her hand back and forth as she searched for the gold band. Once she had a firm grasp on it, she set it next to the note as a final act of defiance, severing her ties to the ruins of their marriage.
Ralph couldn’t come after her now, although he’d want to when he found out she’d spent their life savings on the trip he’d always promised her.
Amy Soscia (she/her) earned her MFA in Writing from Albertus Magnus College. She was recently nominated for a Pushcart Award after being named Grand Prize Winner of the 2023 Wild Women Story Contest sponsored by The Tulip Tree Review. She has also been published in Retirement: A Lifespan Anthology, The Year’s Best Dog Stories 2021, Fredericksburg Literary & Arts Review, One Hundred Voices Vol. II, Down In The Dirt Magazine, The Westie Imprint, 898 Literary Journal, and Chicken Soup for the Soul: Recovering from Brain Injuries. Her forthcoming debut novel is titled The Frozen Game. www.amysoscia.com.